Ever since I was little, Mama and Papa would ask me to sit beside them. I would be propped, cross-legged on a pillow to try to be still for a few minutes. It was always hard for me to stare slightly forward and do nothing except silently count 1 to 10 over and over again. I would get impatient. Little did I know that they were trying to instill in me the value of silence and settling my thoughts.
Even until now, I haven’t developed the practice where I do it every day. What I find though, especially this month, is that there are moments during the day when I pause and breathe deeply. I don’t necessarily stop crossing the street or whatever it is that I am doing. It’s an internal pause. I breathe slower and more deliberately. I would become aware of my scrunched brows and hunched shoulders. I don’t feel ecstatic or cheery. It’s a calm feeling as I “un-scrunch” and “un-hunch”. My personality is prone to obsessing and worrying and I feel that it has slowed some success from entering my life. Having these quiet moments remind me that obsessing won’t do me good and that there are more productive things to do while waiting.
Meditation is helpful and should be a part of life, like prayer. No one has to do it sitting down, cross legged all the time. It’s simply giving oneself space to relax, to let thoughts go by, to be still in this fast paced anxiety ridden world and to feel grateful that we can choose not to rush.